What I am and What I'm Not

What I am.

I am a woman.  I am a mom.  I am a wife.  I am a Catholic.  I try my very best to be a follower of Jesus.  I am faulty.  I am sinful.  I am extremely self-critical and set ridiculously high standards for myself.  I am someone who contemplates my failings almost daily.  I am sarcastic.  I am passionate.  I am rabidly loyal.  I am a loner.  I am misunderstood.  I am a person who talks too much at times, and worries about being understood so I often say more than is necessary.  I am a peacemaker.  I am a people pleaser.  I am person who takes many things very personally.  I am a Pollyanna.  I am extremely forgiving and almost always give someone the benefit of the doubt.  Flaws and all, I am a creation of God.  I am a work in progress.  Always.

What I am not.

I am not proud of myself. I am not a superwoman/mom/wife/Christian.  I am most definitely not perfect.  I am not a person who thinks I am better than anyone else.  I am not a person I would choose to use as an example of a holy woman, though I hope that someday my children can say this of me.  I am not a saint.  I am not self-righteous.  I am not ashamed to admit that I fall short of the mark often.  I am not afraid to be criticized.  I am not afraid to talk about my struggles.  I am not afraid to admit when I am wrong.  I am not one to hold a grudge.  I am not one to be close-minded.  I am not always right. 

I think many of us can make lists like these, and post them out for everyone to see, and still there will be people who disagree.  That is okay. 

If I say that all that matters is that God knows my intent, I am not saying that you don't matter.  I am saying that God matters more.  I don't see that as a negative.  In my opinion, that is how it should be. 

I believe that I have things to teach others, and I also believe that I have many more things to learn from others. 

At the end of the day, all I can hope to say is that today I did my best.  That does not happen every day.  I am trying to be able to say that more often.  But at the end of the day, all I can say is:

O' my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended thee.  I detest all my sins because of their just punishments, but most of all, because they offend you, my God, who are all good, and deserving of all my love.  I firmly resolve, with the help of Your grace, to sin no more, and to avoid the near occasions of sin.  ~Amen