I have been thinking a lot lately about the way that I express myself on social media. I am an introvert, so while I do have social interaction in person, I probably do more socializing on the internet on a daily basis than face to face. The thing is, I pretty much am the same way no matter which situation I am in. I haven't yet decided if that is a good thing or a bad thing. In personal situations, there are things like body language to read, and tone which can be more easily understood when you are standing a couple of feet from someone, and there is also the fact that if I say something completely off the wall, the person may actually forget it.
Obviously, social media is different. Words last and they are there forever. Unless you delete them, which I am not a fan of. I am a believer of standing by my words, even if that means I have to go back and explain relentlessly if something is misunderstood. I think it's a good thing though. People here on earth may forget my words, or misunderstand my words, or even use my words in a negative way towards me, but there is One who exists who knows not just all my words (spoken and typed out on the internet), but the true intentions of my heart that go along with those words. I can choose to delete anything I post, but God still knows what I said, and there is some major accountability going on there that will last long past the age of the internet.
All that being said, I just basically have a pretty transparent personality. I've been through too much in my life and know that life is just way too short and too precious for me to be concerned with appearances. I don't get the draw of appearances at all. Are people concerned with appearances because they want others to like them? I figure if you don't like me, that's fine, I'd rather know up front and honestly, and be done with the pretenses. One of the things I have discovered as I have aged is that not everyone is going to like everyone else and that is a-okay. Some people just have personality clashes. I have met people that I really want to like, but I just don't. That isn't to say I am rude to them or have no use for them, it's not like that at all, it just means that I am never going to be bff's with them. I really do try to value everyone, and I do believe that in most cases, everyone has something valuable that we can learn from and that can enrich our lives, even if it just an opportunity to pray for someone else that really rubs us the wrong way. I have also met people I really didn't want to like, and I ended up really liking them a lot and being surprised at how different they were from my first impression.
I seem to lack an ability to temper myself depending on which category of person I am interacting with. I am just as open with a total stranger as I am with someone I've known for most of my life. I am pretty much an open book. If you ask me, I will tell you, and I will probably share way more than you really wanted to know to begin with. It doesn't matter to me if you are a friend of a friend on facebook, or a relative, or someone I have regular phone coffee dates with. I tell it like it is, at least as it relates to myself.
Some people see this as a negative. I know there is such a thing as over-sharing, and I know that I tend to get long-winded, but I just think, what if one thing I say makes one person feel better today? Is it worth it then? I'd like to think so, but maybe that's not true. Some important people in my life don't understand why I am so open and why I share so much and they are the complete opposite of me when it comes to what they feel is an appropriate level of sharing.
Me? I love sharing but I also LOVE being shared with. I love hearing peoples stories from all walks of life. I know it sounds incredibly naive, but I truly do believe we can learn something from absolutely every single person we come into contact with. Other people fascinate me. The human condition fascinates me. I love hearing about how people function in their situations and how they come to decisions they've made and their opinions on all things and really, I am just fascinated with knowing people's stories. We all have a story. I want to know yours and I sit enthralled when I meet people like me who share without any preconceived purpose other than to share. To me, it's almost like trading tips. You never know what someone else knows that might help you out. I have learned some pretty random things through various social media interactions that have really changed my life and the way I live. I think it helps me to be a kinder person as well. You really never know what someone is going through, and I try to always keep that in mind when I see someone else. It makes me look like an absolute cheeseball, I know, when I see a grumpy looking person at the grocery store and I smile at them and tell them hello, or when I strike up a conversation in line at the pharmacy with someone who looks lonely. I am an introvert, and these things are typically usually against my nature, but there are times when I feel compelled to because, what if, what if it brightens their day? What if they've been in a cranky mood all day and haven't been able to have a decent conversation? What if they are feeling incredibly and utterly alone in the world and me commenting on their purse makes them feel better? There have been plenty of times when a strangers comment or smile has really changed my entire outlook.
I sometimes wonder if my sharing is too much though. Maybe I am one of those annoyingly talky people who you wish would just shut up. I know I tend to talk like a fire hose, expelling a steady stream that can be overwhelming. I try to be aware of that and make an effort to be a better listener. Maybe I am one of those people that others see and think "loooooony!" in their heads. There are several times in the last few weeks I have caught myself getting ready to share something and then have backspaced and deleted thinking, oh, that's probably over-sharing. And then I wonder when I started being concerned with over-sharing. I think it depends on what is currently going on in my life.
Right now I feel like I am finally exiting the end of a long dark tunnel. In the darkest of the tunnel, I was afraid to share because I felt very fragile and vulnerable and too thin-skinned to take much criticism. Coming out the other end, I have felt almost euphoric about sharing, maybe because I forgot how beautiful it is to be in the light and I want everyone to know. I really can't seem to find a rhyme or reason that is exact, just a possible loose pattern.
I don't think I will ever stop being so transparent. Whether it is refreshing or getting old, I don't think I know how to not be this way, so for good or for bad, it is what it is.
I'd love to know your thoughts. Transparency, a good thing, a bad thing, or just a thing?
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